No Celery Please

Actually, I DO know better, but I was desperate.

At the first of those regional meetings I went to a while back, I packed my “winter business” clothes to wear at the meetings.  At the first meeting, I got my first outfit out to get dressed and when I put it on I realized that it was too big.  Like… the kind of too big that looks stupid. (I wear business very-casual at the office regularly, so I didn’t notice this stuff wasn’t gonna fit anymore)

There was nothing I could do at that meeting except roll up the waistband of the skirt and wear my sweater to cover it all up.

But after that one I realized I’d better get some business clothes that fits.

But we were kinda tight on the funds… so I went to WalMart.

I know.  This was a mistake.  But I had to have something.

I bought a pair of black pants and a nice gray sweater and a couple of shirts.

I have worn the sweater 3 or 4 times now.  I got up this morning and I was going to wear it again.

But there’s a hole in it.

Already.

It’s not like I am going hiking in this sweater, or rolling around on the floor or anything.  Just wearing it while sitting as a desk or a table.

But.  Alas.  It is now garbage. (It’s that kind of hole and weave that cannot be fixed – not a seam thing… that I could sew).

Note to self…  T-shirt at WalMart?  Sure.  Tank top or exercise stuff?  Yes.  (I never buy any of that stuff until it’s marked down to $5 anyway… so it something goes wrong, whatever.)

Dress clothes?  Gonna have to go with the big NO on that.

OK, OK… the pants are still fine, even though they are not the best cut.  And the two shirts I bought are still in one piece.  But I think from now on I’ll just stick to my favorite place to buy clothes… Kohls.  It may cost more, but at least I know I’ll get to wear a sweater for a year or two.  It’s worth the money.

So the original knee pads that I bought for derby have crapped out on me.

I am sure that the Pro-Tech brand pads would be a perfectly good knee pad for a sport that does not involve a lot of deliberately flinging oneself at the ground.  A sport that, perhaps, just uses pads for the occasional accidental fall.

But for the Derby?  Not so much.  I need PROTECTION, people.

So I ordered a pair of soft and cushy “187s” and have been waiting patiently (ok, not patiently, but as though I have no other choice but to wait) for a week for them to arrive.

The UPS site has them slated to arrive tomorrow – yay!

They started out in Wyoming, and have come a long way in the past week.  I was curious exactly how long a way, so I took the transit points listed on the tracking site and plugged them into a Yahoo Map…

The big yellow circle is the target destination.

I would LOVE to be able to click a button on the UPS tracking page and pull up a map like this.

Because this is WAY cooler than just a list of places my package has been, and actually is kind of impressive if you realize how far one pair of knee pads can travel in 5 days.

Are you listening, UPS?

Today is the first day of the at-work holiday eating season.

Today will be the Thanksgiving luncheon on my floor.  Complete with a home baked dessert contest.

From there, we will have a series of lunches… people bringing leftovers in from their own baking, holiday parties, holiday lunches, etc. etc. 

This is the food-havingist place I have ever worked (well, except for Wednesday… just because I was desperate)

Part of it is that I belong to a small department that is part of a larger department.  But!  I sit on a floor with a completely different department.  So I get invites to the events for my small department… the larger department… AND the department that I sit in the middle of.

And… the department admins are all really good at their jobs… so the food is always really really good.

So.  Today begins the annual… “let’s not try to actually lose weight but hope like heck we can maintain the status quo for the rest of the year”.  Handily, it’s now cold enough for hiking and other outdoor activities.  I’ve always found that a 10 mile hike before Thanksgiving dinner is a good place to start.

Every once in a while I will mention to someone at work or whatever that everything I eat at home comes out of some sort of frozen package (ok, sometimes a dried package… hell, sometimes even just a refrigerated package… but let’s be clear about the packaging).

This usually results in some kind of comment about how cooking isn’t all that difficult and I should just try it or take a class or something. Because everyone seems to agree that pre-packaged food is just WRONG somehow.

So… just to set the record straight.

I CAN cook. I know how. I used to cook all the time. Baking, broiling, saute, slow cooker. I have many tasty recipes like my famous spinach puffs and spaghetti and meatballs and Indian Saytay made with sauteed ground lamb meatballs. I learned how to cook very young from my mother. She also taught me to iron, which I also hardly ever do. And to make my bed, which I do not do either.

I can slice. I can dice. I admit that julienneing takes too long for my taste.

But I did spend many years of my life preparing wonderfully tasty dishes some of which I still remember very fondly. Pasta shells cooked then sauteed in olive oil until ever so slightly crispy served with extra-garlic sauce and parmesan cheese.

Drooling just remembering it all.

Of course, all this cooking led me to the point in 2001 where I looked up and there I was, soon to tip that scale over 300* and I decided that perhaps allowing me to prepare my own meals was a bad, bad idea.

After I lost a bunch of weight with the help of the lovely people at the lean cuisine… I did try to take up cooking again. Of the “light” variety. But it was never really all that good… and the SB didn’t really like to eat the same things as me (he being of the so-skinny-and-can-eat-whatever-he-wants camp), plus cooking for myself involves such things as leftovers sometimes… just sitting in the pan and waiting to be eaten as “seconds”.

So it just turns out that life is ever so much simpler if all food is consumed in microwaveable pre-portioned packages.

So – cook for myself and weigh 300* pounds. Or… Eat the frozen meals and stick around 145.

Yeah.

I thought so too.

*ok… so it was more like 275… 280… but when you’re that close – it’s not like there’s a big difference.

ANY OTHER DAY OF THE YEAR there would be leftover lunch or chips or cookies or who knows what else sitting in the break room just begging to be eaten and requiring all of my will power to avoid just having a little nibble.

Today? Just because I am sitting here wishing desperately for just, I dunno, a scrap of lettuce, or maybe a dry crust of bread? Anything to put in the rumbly hole that is my tummy right now?

You guessed it.

Nothing.

What this here “Roller Derby” is all about

—–

—-

To get back to normal.

Now I have a wee cold.  Nothing bad enough to stop me from doing all my regular daily stuff… just enough to make it slightly draining.  Bah!

So I decided to go ahead and send my derby name in.

I had settled on Artillery Chelle.

But someone registered it between the last time I checked and this time.

Chelle on Wheels had several “similar” which pretty much makes it likely to reject.  Grrrr.

So I gave up on the whole “Chelle” thing and I will now be known as “Auntie Inflammatory” on the rink.

I am going to try to pass my assessments in December.  I am not confident that I can actually pass.  I know I can get through the first day of drops, endurance, jumps, etc.

And I think I am ok on the pushing and whips and pack skating in the second day.

But… I just haven’t been able to get the hang of hitting.  So we shall see what comes of it.  I have until December 14 to learn.

Of course, failing the assessment is no big deal.  I had originally thought it would take me until February to even think about assessments.  So I can take the December one, fail it, and get notes on what I need to fix in order to try again in January.

I am in no hurry.

Well, thank goodness THAT’S over.

Not that I don’t enjoy getting out and mixing and mingling with the division folks.  But after 4 weeks and 5 cities, I am darn glad to be back full-time to my very own bed and, just as important, my very own shower that has its very own actual water pressure.

I came in to work this morning and I felt like a giant weight had been lifted because for the first time in 4 weeks I wasn’t frantically trying to spend the last two days of the week getting the training manuals, handouts, CDs, plans, agendas, etc. etc. ready for the trip out on Monday.

So naturally I am spending the day getting caught up on blogs, etc Priorities, people!

So the other thing coming up is that now I’ve been a-derbying for a while, I have finally attended enough practices to register my name and number!

No, no, I haven’t passed the assessments yet that will actually allow me to play.  But isn’t getting the cool roller derby name the most important thing?

I want the number 42, which no one on my team has yet (no Douglas Adams fans, I guess)

But I have a list of names that I am thinking about, and I don’t know what to go with.

So why not ask the interwebs for advice, huh?

Here’s some I am thinking of.  I was kinda trying to get “Chelle” in there, but it’s not 100% necessary.

• Auntie Bellum  (too latin?)
• Misty Meaner  (prolly too close to one that’s already taken)
• Betty Wantsago
• Mean Wilder
• Bea Sting
• Chelle Shock (prolly too close to one that’s already taken)
• Ann T Septic
• Auntie Inflammatory
• Hootin’  Annie
• Artillery Chelle
• Incendiary Chelle
• Chelle on Wheels
• Random Dent

You like any?

Any ideas? 

All derby names must be unique.  I’ve thought of a TON of excellent ones, only to go check the list and find out they are taken.  Bah!

So glad to be home.