So now I am considering having reconstructive cosmetic ok, ok, fine, Ill say it… plastic surgery to remove a whole bunch of extra skin that is left over now that I am no longer as large as I once was.
I’ve been noodling the idea around for a while… but I am now to the point where in the next few weeks I feel like I might actually pick up the phone and call a surgeon’s office to talk about consultations.
I thought that blogging about it might help me as I work through all the major issues surrounding this decision.
So just as an outline… here are the things I am worried about with this whole surgery thing…
- Recovery time.
- General anesthesia.
- Plastic Surgery vs. Body Acceptance.
- How much needs to come off?
- No, I don’t want breast implants.
And why would I want to do such a thing?
I have lost more than half of me. Now that I understand things like eating healthy foods, getting exercise, etc. I realize that this is about the size my body would like to be. I am not losing any more weight, nor am I gaining… So while I might still be called “Fat” by a fashion magazine at a size 10 (sometimes 8, sometimes 12), I am good with things the way they are.
But taking out half the stuffings has left me with simply more skin than I require. On my arms and legs, this just means I have a little sagging and wrinkling. Nothing I wouldn’t have gotten with age, anyway. So I have no problem with that.
My torso, though… I can grab two handfuls of skin and pull it away, with still more left that I can’t fit in my hands. (yeah, sorry about that mental image). It’s too much. It hangs over my pants, I think about it and obsess constantly about how it hangs there any time I wear clothing that is even remotely close to my body. (And let’s not even get into how my brain reacts to a hug).
I guess it just feels unfair that I went to so much effort to get to where I fell like I should be and can maintain in a healthy manner, and then I am stuck with the leftovers.
There’s also that I want to get a tattoo on my belly and right now, frankly, there’s just no way it could be done. (unless it was one of those Mad Magazine fold-out pictures that changes when you open it up).
I could go on. I probably will at some point. But enough for today.
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