If someone tells you they need to dilate your cervix, think real hard before you say yes

September 9, 2011 · Filed under Health, Just... Life, Uncategorized

So… I believe I have blogged here before about some of my issues with the Depo Provera. I have hemmed and hawed and then hemmed again and re-hawed and then went back around again.

I talked to my regular doc about sterilization and she gave me the old “but what if you change your mind and want BABIEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!” speech.

That doc is not my favorite anyway, she’s never particularly curious about my state of being and doesn’t inquire much beyond… “how are you”?

So I took my search for birth control that doesn’t suck all the emotion out of my life a little father afield and went to see an honest-to-goodness OBGYN for the first time in my life.

I think this guy asked me more questions about myself in the hour I talked to him than my regular doc did in all the years I’ve been seeing her.

Options… He gave me options and talked about pros and cons and… Bonus… Never once suggested that my decision to not want babies was something I would REGRET FOREVER AND DIE MOURNING!!!!!

So in the end, with the various options and pros and cons, I decided to go with the Mirena IUD.

Seemed like a simple enough procedure… In office… A few minutes… Kinda like a pap smear, but “you might feel a pinch”.

Now, that might even be true in many circumstances.

I, it appears, have a “combative cervix”.

Yes… My cervix, it seems, does not think that “in” is an appropriate directions for things to go.

But was my doctor going to lose a fight with some stubborn stupid cervix? Oh no, he was not!

THRICE! He called out to his valiant nurse sidekick… “I need a larger dilater!”

Yeah, so that sucked.

But I am now the proud owner of a uterus full of IUD and am (barring any statistical anomalies) protected from teh bebbies for 5 whole years with only the tiniest locally applied hormone trickle and not the crazy flood that I have now.

But… Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

I had forgotten what cramps felt like, but hello! That, and the few hours after… I stand reminded!!

But, all in all, I think it’s a Very. Good. Thing.

I can’t live with the side effects of the Depo anymore… Change must be made.

Now, I just have to wait another 4 to 6 weeks to see if I am one of those lucky folks who go bat-shit crazy when hey come off the Depo… Yeah, that’s something I wasn’t told when I started takin it oh so many years ago.

So anyways… That was my Friday Night… Ibuprofen and heating pads all around! Whee!