I have not abandoned my quest to find some way to be more
- connected? appreciative? in touch?
- universe? earth? Jungian universal consciousness? divine?
I did decide to take the discussion off-line and put it back in my head where it belongs. I was getting WAY too wrapped around the axle, so I will be sparing you that moving forward
But – one thing I DO think is an important thing, whether as part of looking for a way to be more appreciative of the world, or just for the sake of sanity, is creative expression.
I have, on and off, pretty much my whole life, been looking for that creative outlet that works for me and I can be “good” at.
I have tried a MULTITUDE of musical endeavors. I finally, after the last attempt with the violin, have learned to accept that I am simply not a person who can ever or will ever play a musical instrument. I don’t have it in me. I can get it together enough to tootle something out on a recorder, but that’s about it (maybe a tambourine). I cannot get the hang of the guitar. I failed miserably at the violin – I couldn’t even hear the difference of the string that the SB could tell me was “in tune” or “out of tune”. I never had the patience for the piano. I didn’t suck at the oboe when I was in 5th grade, but… I didn’t really like playing it that much either.
I CAN sing fairly well. I can carry a tune, I have a good range, I can control my breath, my voice is (I think) somewhat pleasant to listen to… but that’s not really something that I can do “by myself”… so as a creative outlet, it’s sort of limited to singing along in the car when a good song comes on. I like Karaoke, but I detest bars, drunken hooligans, and staying out late… so that’s kind of a big “no”. And I’m not willing to join a church just to get in a choir. And the SB plays a lovely guitar, but that’s more of a day-time activity for him, and he mostly plays instrumental stuff anyway, so by the time evening rolls around, it’s not really on his list of things to do. Plus how much sitting in the living room signing along can two people really do?
So – music is kind of out for me.
Thing the next: Writing.
I tried my hand at that for a while a couple of years ago. Now, I think I am a “decent” writer. I have written a couple of “flash fiction” bits I really liked. I wrote a couple of sci fi short stories. I wrote a cute novella that I was pretty proud of… although it needs some SERIOUS editing, and I never bothered with it.
But – kinda like the oboe in the 5th grade… I am adequate at it. But I do not love it. I also think I pretty much wrote the few stories I had in me and then that was that. I had an AWESOME idea for a novel – Elves in space! (no really, if I gave you the whole outline, you would love it)… but novel writing – sheesh… no… My attention span does NOT reach that far. I got three chapters in and was like… “you know? I can just have this story in my head”
The SB – he enjoys writing. We’ll go on vacation… he has to have a notebook with him because he will suddenly HAVE TO SIT DOWN A WRITE A POEM ABOUT THIS! I think that’s how one should feel about a craft. And… I tried, but no… it’s not “me”… I have NEVER had a feeling like I just HAD TO WRITE THIS DOWN!
So – no, I am not a writer or a poet or anything else like that.
Dancing? Ha! Do not make me laugh! Even now that I am VERY physically fit. I am more coordinated than I have EVER been in my life. But I can barely get it together enough to muddle through the choreography in a workout video (seriously, I have been forced to shut off DVDs because I was going to injure myself tripping over my own feet). I have a fantasy of learning to belly dance, but I am WELL AWARE that it is exactly that, a fantasy. I have taken a couple of random “classes” – one at a party, one at Dragon*Con. I just really am not built to move that way. So dancing, no.
So we are winnowing down the options, no?
Drawing? Abstract / Patterny Stuff? Yes… anything approaching “real” like people or landscapes? No
Painting? Just never felt drawn to it. Probably because I am not able to get the drawing part down.
I do like to color, but that’s not something you can really say “hey, I made this”… coloring in books is like microwaving a frozen dinner and saying you “cooked” it.
Sculpture? I have tried this once or twice. I just have a hard time making the shapes come out right. Again – realism is not my strong suit and abstract shapes, well, how many squiggles can you make before that gets old?
Wow – this is a long list of “no”… I am not outlining this to “feel sorry for myself”… these are just things I have done or tried that turned out to not really be right for me.
So – to the present…
I have wanted for YEARS to try pottery. The idea of having this ball of clay on a wheel turn into something under my hands has always been very appealing. Problem: must have a studio and a kiln… and someone to show you how to do it. All of those things have always been quite far away from me where I live. And classes are all from, like, 6 to 9 pm, then you have to come home and then it’s too late.
What did I find in my email box this morning but a “Living Social” deal for a place called “Art in the Dairy”. The deal was for a fused glass class (which, by the way, might actually be right up my alley, as it combined an actual “art” with the random color doodly kind of thing I am good at), but this place also has pottery. So I clicked on it, expecting it to be miles and miles from my house.
And what did I find?
THERE IS AN ART STUDIO RIGHT UP THE ROAD FROM ME NOW!
Seriously, I saw the address and I was all “Huh? How is there Art on THAT road… that’s right around the corner, we are on the west side? This part of town doesn’t get ART!?”
But it’s right there.
And I can take a glass class or a pottery class for $50… WAY less than any of the south side places.
Now, I am fully prepared to admit that these are a couple more things that I might try and not like. But hey, you never know, right?