Consultation

So I am going in today to talk to the surgeon about the tummy tuck.

I do not do well with doctors.  They make me nervous, and I tend to clam up and just revert to “yes” and “no” and wait until I can get the heck out of there.

Now… mostly that’s because I always feel hugely judged when I am at the doctor.  I only go for annual checkups, and so I am usually just sitting there waiting for the doctor to tell me why I am WRONG WRONG WRONG and should be punished and humiliated for not taking care of myself properly.

This hasn’t actually happened in a long, long time…  but the expectation is still there.

But… in this case, I am not going to the doctor for health related purposes.  This guy is running a service business.  It’s in his best interest to be nice and make me like him (and, if not, then I certainly will go elsewhere)…  So I think this will likely be a very different experience than going to a regular doctor.

But I still need to make sure I talk.  I need to communicate what I am looking for, what my needs and desires are (also not something I am good at).  I must force myself to ask, ask, ask questions and provide full, complete, and honest answers to questions asked of me.

This isn’t going to be easy… but I think I can do it.

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THIEF!!

OK so I am just wholesale STEALING this joke from Out of Character, because this is EXACTLY how I feel about clowns.

A clown is walking hand in hand with a child into the woods. The child looks up at the clown and says, “It’s really dark out here! I’m scared! Let’s go back!”

The clown pats the child’s hand and smiles. Keeps walking deeper into the woods.

“It gets darker and scarier the farther we go!” whines the child. “Let’s go back!”

The clown shakes his head and keeps walking.

“Mister, please!” the child says, “It’s dark and spooky out here, I’m really scared!”

“How do you think I feel?” the clown says, “I have to walk out of here alone.”

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Cap’n Cake

So in an interesting turn of events, I have been voted in as one of the two co-captains for the next bout up in WV (Bluefield).

I have quite a few ideas about what I would like to do as captain, some line-up things I’d like to try, some drills, etc.

But the fact of the matter is… we only have 3 team practices between now and then, so there’s a limit to what I and my co-cap are going to be able to accomplish in terms of bringing us together as a team.

Still – nice that I get to try!

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Start Spreadin’ The News…

OK, so I’m not leaving today…  but still.  A plan has been made!  Tickets have been bought!  A hotel has been booked!

As often happens at the end of a fiscal year, careful scrimping, saving and not-spending have left my department with a bit of wiggle room left in the budget.

Enough wiggle room, it appears, for me to take some long-requested training leading to a certification in my field – certification which I will not mention, being as how I try to not put anything on here that might bring company searches this way.

But anyway.  The upside of this is that the training is in NYC. This means that my company is going to be buying me a plane ticket and a week in a hotel up there.

And since that’s going to happen, why not fly up super early on Sunday, instead of late? And since the hotel room will be there and all… why not spend personal $$ on a ticket for the SB who can also sleep in that hotel for no extra cost to anyone.

OK, so it’s not exactly a “vacation” except for the Sunday, but still, the SB will get to do all kinds of things during the day while I am in the training, and we’ll be able to at least go out to dinner in NYC – food capital of the world!!!  (and my dinner will even be expensed! – means separate checks, of course)

So… now the hard part… where to eat?

Gotta have Deli… but Katz’s or Stage?  (Or, heck, Carnegie – never been there!)

Gotta have pizza – think I’ll contact one of our NYC employees to find the “best” place for that (opinions may vary, of course)

I think I’d like to go eat in China Town.

But then, we ARE going to be staying in Chelsea… tons of famous little store-front places there too!  Oh what to do, what to do?

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So we Lost…

Again…

By a lot…

Sigh.

The team we played was much better than we were – both in terms of the skill of the players, and of the level of team work.

I’m not saying there aren’t reasons for this.  Our team only got a few weeks of practice together in this current incarnation, and the opposing team’s been playing together for quite some time.  Our team truly is a “B” team… some of us were even brand-new in that bout.  While the opposing team had a mix of what in our league would be “A” and “B” team players (theirs is a small league, so they can’t break along those lines).

Those were the two BIG reasons.

But even though we lost…  I think we had some very good individual moments, and there were some flashes of what we can be once we get some more time playing together in this group.

I, personally, Jammed in a bout for the first time, and I even got lead jammer a couple of times, and scored a few points!

So there’s definitely some things to be proud of, and some things to work on that will come with time.

Mixed feelings all around – sad for the loss, but proud of what we did manage to do.

Here’s me jamming…

Look Ma!  I'm Jamming!

Look Ma! I'm Jamming!

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Collecting Bellies

So with all this talk about plastic surgery, I have been spending a lot of time in contemplation of the belly.  My belly, most specifically, but, the contemplation has led me on a search of all things belly.

You see…  while I DO want to get rid of the extra skin I have hanging around here… I most certainly do NOT want to end up with a flat, boyish sort of a belly.

I like round bellies!  I think I can trace the first articulation of this back to the movie “Pulp Fiction” where the cute french girl was talking about wanting to have a pot belly.  I just think round bellies are cute.

So – now that I am contemplating having my own personal belly surgically altered…  well, I think I need to start a belly collection, so I can be very clear with any potential surgeons that my personal desire for results is not some hollywood crazy-flat tied together hour-glassy thing.

Below are some bellies that I like very much…  taken from the AWESOME BELLY PROJECT…  (which you should TOTALLY check out!!!)

YES FOR ME BELLY

See?  Round…

NOT FOR ME BELLY (but still perfectly nice for them)

Of course, with the skin damage, still won’t look as cute as those first ones above, but at least it’s something to aim for.

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Brefas…

At my office, we have a “Friday Breakfast” thing that alternates which department is responsible for providing breakfast on Friday each week.  And in my department (of three people) we alternate who gets the stuff when it is our turn.

So… it’s going to turn out that once every three months or so, I am going to be responsible for procuring the breakfast on my floor (we expense this, so it’s really just choosing and picking up).

Today was my day.

Now, since I do not eat stuff like bagels and donuts and pastries, and I find the “Fruit” plates that occasionally make their way into these things when someone is trying to be “healthy” to be pathetic and sad, I tend not to pay any real attention to the breakfast goings-on.  I just go in the break room and make my oatmeal like I do every morning and ignore whatever’s going on over there.

But this morning, as it was my responsibility, I was forced to pay a little more attention than usual and I found something out.

People are jackasses.

OK, OK, yeah, so I knew that before, but still.

I went to Bojangles for the breakfast, which, if you are not from here, you cannot understand the divinity of a Bojangles biscuit.

I got enough biscuits in enough varieties to cover the people on the floor, with some left over too.

I brought this stuff in, laid it out, and considered my responsibility at an end, which it was.

But, since this was my offering, and I was curious as to how the dreaminess of the Bojangles cinnamon biscuit would go over with a crew that a) is used to the donuts and bagels and b) is mostly not from around here and SOME HAVE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO A BOJANGLES… I kind of paid attention to what was going on over there this time.

And you know what I saw?

People coming in WAY EARLY and snatching up two* and three biscuits!!

OK… so I don’t care if you eat two sausage biscuits for breakfast, that’s your deal.  Hell, eat five of them, I don’t care…  but wait until the other folks have had a chance before you descend on the breakfast and grab up two or three of these things for you own!  I’m just saying.

Sure, if 10 o’clock rolls around and there’s still some left (which there are, of the cinnamon ones, because I got way more of those than the meat ones), then come on in here and snatch up the rest.  Hell, take them home to your mother, that’s fine… because everyone who wants one has already had one by then.

But it just irked me to no end to see people walking out with a pile of food and not thinking about the folks who might show up at, say, 9…  looking for a little sausage biscuit!

Anyway… I guess I found out one thing… if you are getting biscuits for breakfast, get more sausage ones.  Those puppies are apparently worth more than gold.

——————————————

*This rant does not include the lady who took an extra one for the woman who is stuck at the desk downstairs.

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Meme-o-Rama

So the lovely Rachel, she of the many Lessons Learned, has seen fit to award me the OVER THE TOP award.

over_the_top_award

Actually, it appears that this award is merely a way to bribe people into completing a meme.

Which, I think, is a fabulous idea, because, HEY, who doesn’t like to get an award AND a free blog topic at the same time!!!

This meme appears to be one of this “strict rules” ones, which I am not usually that good at, but I will do my best – even to the point of “awarding” this thing to some other folks in the interest of maintaining its continuity.

The official meme-y rules are:

  • Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on.
  • Answers may be one word only
  • Once you have filled it out be sure to pass it on to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
  • Alert them that they have been awarded!
  • Have fun!  (I love this one…  what if I don’t find it fun?  What then?)

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Your hair? Brown
3. Your mother? Female
4. Your father? Male
5. Your favorite food? Food
6. Your dream last night? Nothing
7. Your favorite drink? Water
8. Your dream/goal? Retirement
9. What room are you in? B420
10. Your hobby? Derby!
11. Your fear? Zombies
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive
13. Where were you last night? Bed
14. Something that you aren’t? Purple
15. Muffins? Tops
16. Wish list item? iTouch
17. Where did you grow up? Everywhere
18. Last thing you did? Type
19. What are you wearing? Clothes
20. Your TV? HD
21. Your pets? Spoiled
22. Friends? Sure
23. Your life? Sweet
24. Your mood? Work
25. Missing someone? No
26. Vehicle? MINI!
27. Something you’re not wearing? Tiara
28. Your favorite store? Ugh
29. Your favorite color? Brown
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Dunno?
32. Your best friend? SB
33. One place that I go to over and over? MartO’Doom
34. One person who emails me regularly? Liberry
35. Favorite place to eat? Dragon!!

OK, whew, I managed to get through that.  I guess I had fun, so I didn’t break any of the rules.

Now I gotta pass this sucker on to six unlucky winners!  So ya’ll don’t say I never gave you anything!

  • Bobo
  • Ron
  • Renn
  • Tiff
  • Middle  Girl
  • ETW

On with the Memes!

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Every Time

Sometimes I will decide to wear a skirt to work.

Then, after about 4 hours, I will remember why I NEVER WEAR SKIRTS TO WORK.

  • It’s colder in a skirt.
  • Skirt-appropriate shoes are not as comfy as pants-appropriate shoes.
  • 8 hours in tights.
  • The “butt covered?” check every time you stand up.

I’m really not cut out for these things.

Although I will admit this is a wonderfully “corporate” look!

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A Meme is a Terrible Thing to Waste

69 Questions Meme

Ah memes – they do make it easy to come up with a nice blog post on a rainy Monday morning.

I stole this one from dear Rachel, who stole it from WIGSF, who stole it from Christielli. It’s got 69 questions.

Please feel free to adopt this little stray and take it to your blog for your very own.

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1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be? – I want it to be a hang up call.  I hate the phone.  The only reason I even own one of the damn things is that there might one day be an emergency that requires the use of a phone to summon live saving implements in a siren-y vehicle.  Gah – can’t you just send me an email?

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Every time.  Jeeze people!  How hard is it to walk the 10 to 20 steps and shove the thing in the cart corral. Not like they aren’t EVERYWHERE out in the lot, taking up all the good parking space because people were too lazy to walk ALL THE WAY back to the store to return the cart!  (actually, most of the time, I bring my own shopping bags which can be handily slung over a shoulder and therefore do not have to even deal with the cart, but I understand that schlepping groceries for a family of 4 might be too much for a shoulder bag.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? I am a listener mostly.  Well, actually, I will pretend to listen to you… in most social settings I’m just trying to figure out how long it will be before I can politely escape.  If it’s something I actually WANTED to attend, well then it’s likley I wil be both talking AND listening (attentively!)

4. Do you take compliments well? Absolutely not.  Don’t even try.  I have way too much leftover Catholic guilt from my childhood to greet a compliment with anything but a remark pointing out how you are totally mistaken and explaining about how I really do suck, really, and don’t deserve your notice, let alone compliments.  Um, yeah, I’m working on just trying “thank you”

5. Do you play Sudoku? I play.  I suck, and I never finish, but I do play.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Absolutely.  I have watched enough crazy travel TV that I could confidently build a shelter in the jungle, find clean(ish) running water, probably figure out SOMETHING edible, and (I think) get a fire going. I’d prefer a Westin, though.

7. Do you like to ride horses? I loved to ride as a kid.  Haven’t been on a horse in decades. I do still like them, though.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Once.  I hated it.  All my life not only was I the “fat” kid, but due to my dad working for IBM, I was usually also the “new” kid (also – the “smart” kid).  You might imagine what kind of wonderful experience THAT would lead to at mandatory camp trip in the 6th grade.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid? Going out in the woods behind my house and pretending to camp.  (camping rocks as long as you can come home when you are tired of it – see question 6)

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew s/he was married, would you go for it? No no no.  a) I am married. 2) I am vehemently opposed to infidelity.  (All in favor of divorcing / breaking up with a crappy partner!  But do it BEFORE jumping in the sack with someone new.  I’m just sayin’)

11. Have you lied to get out of a date? Not a date.  But I lie to get out of stuff all the time.  I find that “Aw, sorry, I’m busy” goes down a lot easier than “gad – I would rather stick a spoon in my eye than attend this function that you are proposing!”.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? As long as they weren’t too terribly serious about them… I guess.  As an agnostic (would be athiest, but even that’s too “sure” for my taste) I am open to pretty much any interpretation of the spiritual…  but don’t try to tell me yours is the only one.  Handily – married – do not have to deal with this.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Neither. I like things to “just happen”

14. Use three words to describe yourself? Smart, Kind,

—–  Edit —-

OK, OK, so I meant to come back and finish this list, because I just couldn’t think of the last “word” that I wanted to narrow myself down to.  Three is so limiting, don’t you think?  So I moved on.  I really WAS going to come back…  but, egad, this is a long list.

So here’s the third word – better late than never:

Easily-Distracted

do not give me any crap about that being two words.  I don’t care.  I hyphenated.

—- End Edit —-

15. Do any songs make you cry? Songs / books / movies /cards that are designed to make you cry just piss me off.  Like that “live like you were dying” song… GAH!  Written SPECIFICALLY to make people cry – I REFUSE to be manipulated like that!

16. Are you continuing your education? I have two associates, a bachelors and an MBA.  NEVER going back!!!

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? In theory… I’ve seen it on TV.  I think I could figure it out in a post-apocalyptic emergency.  Other than the zombie apocalypse, though, I don’t see myself ever touching one of the things.  I don’t like ‘em.  I WOULD like to learn to shoot a bow.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Dog. backup computer hard-drive. Teddy ted ted.

19. How often do you read books? I have a rule that says I cannot read a book unless I am on either my exercise bike or elliptical machine.  This keeps me interested in what is otherwise fairly monotonous exercise.  But with a good book?  Sometimes I wake up in the morning just itching to get on that bike so I can see what happens next.  I usually go through about 1 or 2 a week.  (brain candy ONLY!  None of that “non fiction” crap!)

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I am all about the here and now.  “future” thinking consists of planning out deby practices over the next week or to.  The past is yucky and horrible and I do not want to dwell on it.  The past is where all the bad things live (or, you know, as bad as things ever got for a white, middle class girl with tons of privilege).  I am a firm believer in the church of Timon and Puumba.  Hakuna Matata is my motto – you gotta put your behind in the past!

21. What is your favorite children’s book? as for an ACTUAL children’s book – written for children… The BFG by Roald Dahl  (or possibly George’s Marvelous Medicine by the same).  Although, as a child (and this might explain some of my weirdness) my favorite favorite bed time story was actually Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” – I would listen to that one as many times as my dad would tell it.

22. What color are your eyes? Hazel.

23. How tall are you? 5 ft 7 in

24. Where is your dream house located? Today…  Seattle.  Depends on my mood.

25. Do you have a secret fetish? um…. cake?  No, guess not.

26. Have you tried sushi? I love sushi.  Except for eel.  Eel is the product of satan.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? uh, yes.

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? last year some time? I don’t think it’s been two.  Olive Garden is one of those places that I like to go about once every two years when something on one of their commercials looks particularly photogenic.  Then I go there and remember why I never go there. Still – being as how I love all things cheese, I can forgive quite a bit of “pretend” Italian cuisine.

29. When was the last time you were at Church? Let’s just say it’s been a while.  Only a wedding or a funeral’s getting me back in one of those places.  Oh, well, except for historical churches… I do love to be inside a grand old cathedral.  Old churches do have the awesomest architecture!

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? So far?  work – but then derby practice later – a little farther than work.

31. What was your favorite job? You know?  I really enjoyed working as a barrista at Starbucks.  If only they paid as much as my current job – I could totally do that again.

32. Do you like mustard? Sometimes, and sometimes I think it is the work of the devil.  It depends on what it’s on and how much.  But I love it mixed with mayo on French Fries.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? THAT is a tough call.  I guess depending on how hungry or tired I am…  Eating and Sleeping are probably at the TIP TOP of my “favorite activities” list. (followed by Derby, of course).

34. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look like my Dad’s Mom.  Which is why people always think I’m mad.  “Are you OK?  Is something wrong?”  – “no – my face just looks like this”

35. How long does it take you in the shower? Am I in a hurry?  5 minutes.  Is it cold outside and hot in the shower?  Yeah – how much hot water’s in the tank.

36. Can you do the splits? Never ever.

37. What movie do you want to see right now? uh… I guess whatever Netflix sends next.

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you? It goes fast enough already, thanks.

39. What did you do for New Year’s? Ah new years.  I am asleep at midnight.  Then, the neighbors start setting off fireworks, freak out the dog, and wake me up.  Then, I stew about the #%$$%#$#ing neighbors for a while, then I go back to sleep.  EVERY YEAR!

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary? No.  No I did not.

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls? Let’s try “Heathers” instead.  Yes, I am that old.

42. Do you own a camera phone? Yes. But it costs 25 cents to transfer the pictures (thanks, virgin wireless!) so I just use a camera if I want a picture.

43. Do you have an “ex box” with pics and letters from past lovers? No – Hakuna Matata, baby!

44. Was your mom a cheerleader? As my mom never got to go to high school due to the staying home and helping raise her siblings, no, no she was not.

45. What’s the last letter of your middle name? E – why do you care and what possible use coud that be?  I mean, if you are going to write a meme with a target number of questions, at least make them useful!

46. Do you like your middle name? Its fine.  I guess there’s a reason it gets put in the middle.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? as many as possible.

48. Do you like care bears? um, like, to eat?

49. What do you buy at the movies? If I MUST go to a movie in the theater… I will grudgingly purchase a ticket.  NO, KID, you MAY NOT have popcorn!!!

50. Do you know how to play poker? I could probably fake my way through a game for pennies.  I get confused when it gets beyond “two pair” or “three of a kind”

51. Do you wear your seat belt? Always.

52. What do you wear to sleep? Tank top and undies.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? The city council likes to think so, but, not really.

54. How many meals do you eat a day? 3 meals.  1 snack. (2 snacks if it’s a practice night)

55. Is your tongue pierced? No… piercing isn’t my thing… I find just having pierced ears a trial to maintain.

56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace? I have taken down the page, MySpace sucks so bad.

57. Do you read myspace bulletins? No – they are usually spam or viruses, again, with the suckitude of MySpace.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better? I like seriously funny people.

59. Ever been to L.A.? Couple of times for business.  It’s just another office when you travle for work.

60. Did you eat a cookie today? No, but the day is young yet – someone might bring me cookies!

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages? No, I find that English supplies all my cussing requirements quite handily…  Fucker.

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Well, I do not download music, because I have no MP3 player.  But… if I had one, I would pay for them.  I will admit, when Napster first came out, I DID download from it.  But only because it didn’t really dawn on me that it was violating copyrights.  (we always used to share copies of tapes when I was a kid, right?) But once I realized that’s it’s wrong (and actually stealing!) I did not do it anymore.

63. Do you hate chocolate? What kind of weirdo freak can HATE chocolate?!!

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most? Fighting with my parents is pointless.  If they start going on about something I disagree with, I just try to leave the room as unobtrusively as possible.  They are old, they are not going to change at this point.

65. Are you a gullible person? No, I trust nobody and nothing.

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? Um…  I’ve been married for a long time.  I think having a boyfriend now would make me supremely unhappy!

67. If you could have any job what would it be? Independently wealthy world traveling environmentalist.

68. Are you easy to get along with? Yes.  Even if I think you are an ass hat, I am going to be polite to you… because that’s how I was raised.

69. What is your favorite time of day? 5 pm, baby!

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