Posts tagged MEME

It’s Not a Meme – Honest!

So the latest trend in Memes appears to be making them into an “award” – because apparently the entire internet got sick of doing Meme and now everyone has to be BRIBED into participating in these little celebrations of all things narcissistic.

Not me, though.  I love Memes.  Why?  Because any time I can get a free blog topic, I am gonna grab it and run with it!!

So what is is this time?

The lovely and talented Zaftig Chicks have hit me up with The Honest Scrap Award!

Truly, I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.  I know I have to list some things now that are “honest” – so I get that… but really, given the kind of stuff I am likely to share, If I were less lazy I would have gone ahead and photoshopped the “S” out of that sign…. because that’s what I’ll be sharing here today – a list of crap about me that’s all honest – I swear!  Because what is the Internet for except complete honesty!?

So here are the rules of “winning” this “award”:

1) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.

2) Tell those 7 people they’ve been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

3) Share “10 Honest Things” about yourself.

So here we go…

  1. I am getting a tummy tuck on December 8th.  Yeah, I know, you all already know that… but I am so super excited that it’s sometimes all I think about ;)   But since plastic surgery is one of those things that people don’t usually talk about, I feel it’s necessary to trumpet it from the ramparts  – I am a big believer in better living through medical intervention, whether it’s pills, surgery, or whatever.
  2. I haven’t washed my car since spring.  When I first got her, Frau Hummel was washed almost every week.  But I was never good with cars before I got her, and once the shiny-new-wow-excitement wore off, I have, to my shame, gone back to treating her like a car.
  3. I anthropomorphise EVERYTHING.  Yes, I do actually feel like the car resents me for not keeping her clean.
  4. I would like to be a vegetarian because I do feel bad about how animals are treated in the meat processing industry.  I eat a lot of vegetarian food.  But sometimes…  I just have to have the bacon.  I am weak.
  5. Twixes are my favorites.
  6. When I was a little kid I would spank my dolls in a way that would probably have qualified as child abuse.  They never even had to have done anything.  I don’t know why – I was never spanked, we did not live in an abusive house.  I never liked playing with dolls, though, I think maybe I was venting on them for their very existence…  why were they not toy cars?  This would not be an issue, really, except for #3 above.
  7. I am easily controlled by guilt. (yup, raised Catholic)
  8. It is too early in the morning to think of ten honest things about me that I haven’t written about here before that I would actually want to share with the interwebs – I mean, doll spanking?  really?  (and, for the love of Maude, I will lay MONEY that in the next month “doll spanking” shows up in my search terms… hey, people who got here with that search!  You are sick freaks!!)
  9. Sometimes I wish I could move to the pacific northwest and live in a one room apartment and work in a coffee shop and not worry about anything corporate or financial again in my life.  Luckily, I always come to my senses about this stuff.
  10. I have ha the paperwork printed out to get a passport for a couple of years now, but I am too cheap / lazy to file it.  I am trapped within the border of my own country by my simple unwillingness to shell out $100 on a gov’t document.

Well, that was, of course, harder than I thought it would be starting out… probably because I am relatively secretive by nature and to share is to put oneself at risk!

But I got through that… so here’s my list of 7 “awardees” – please feel completely free to decline the award on the grounds that it supports the military-industrial complex in its bid for global domination or whatever…

Al

Cravey

ETW

Tiff

Middle Girl

Rachel

Ron

I’m not linking these so you can say… “Oh, I didn’t see that!” if you decide to not play along ;)

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A Meme is a Terrible Thing to Waste

69 Questions Meme

Ah memes – they do make it easy to come up with a nice blog post on a rainy Monday morning.

I stole this one from dear Rachel, who stole it from WIGSF, who stole it from Christielli. It’s got 69 questions.

Please feel free to adopt this little stray and take it to your blog for your very own.

———————————————————-

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be? – I want it to be a hang up call.  I hate the phone.  The only reason I even own one of the damn things is that there might one day be an emergency that requires the use of a phone to summon live saving implements in a siren-y vehicle.  Gah – can’t you just send me an email?

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Every time.  Jeeze people!  How hard is it to walk the 10 to 20 steps and shove the thing in the cart corral. Not like they aren’t EVERYWHERE out in the lot, taking up all the good parking space because people were too lazy to walk ALL THE WAY back to the store to return the cart!  (actually, most of the time, I bring my own shopping bags which can be handily slung over a shoulder and therefore do not have to even deal with the cart, but I understand that schlepping groceries for a family of 4 might be too much for a shoulder bag.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? I am a listener mostly.  Well, actually, I will pretend to listen to you… in most social settings I’m just trying to figure out how long it will be before I can politely escape.  If it’s something I actually WANTED to attend, well then it’s likley I wil be both talking AND listening (attentively!)

4. Do you take compliments well? Absolutely not.  Don’t even try.  I have way too much leftover Catholic guilt from my childhood to greet a compliment with anything but a remark pointing out how you are totally mistaken and explaining about how I really do suck, really, and don’t deserve your notice, let alone compliments.  Um, yeah, I’m working on just trying “thank you”

5. Do you play Sudoku? I play.  I suck, and I never finish, but I do play.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Absolutely.  I have watched enough crazy travel TV that I could confidently build a shelter in the jungle, find clean(ish) running water, probably figure out SOMETHING edible, and (I think) get a fire going. I’d prefer a Westin, though.

7. Do you like to ride horses? I loved to ride as a kid.  Haven’t been on a horse in decades. I do still like them, though.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Once.  I hated it.  All my life not only was I the “fat” kid, but due to my dad working for IBM, I was usually also the “new” kid (also – the “smart” kid).  You might imagine what kind of wonderful experience THAT would lead to at mandatory camp trip in the 6th grade.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid? Going out in the woods behind my house and pretending to camp.  (camping rocks as long as you can come home when you are tired of it – see question 6)

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew s/he was married, would you go for it? No no no.  a) I am married. 2) I am vehemently opposed to infidelity.  (All in favor of divorcing / breaking up with a crappy partner!  But do it BEFORE jumping in the sack with someone new.  I’m just sayin’)

11. Have you lied to get out of a date? Not a date.  But I lie to get out of stuff all the time.  I find that “Aw, sorry, I’m busy” goes down a lot easier than “gad – I would rather stick a spoon in my eye than attend this function that you are proposing!”.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? As long as they weren’t too terribly serious about them… I guess.  As an agnostic (would be athiest, but even that’s too “sure” for my taste) I am open to pretty much any interpretation of the spiritual…  but don’t try to tell me yours is the only one.  Handily – married – do not have to deal with this.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Neither. I like things to “just happen”

14. Use three words to describe yourself? Smart, Kind,

—–  Edit —-

OK, OK, so I meant to come back and finish this list, because I just couldn’t think of the last “word” that I wanted to narrow myself down to.  Three is so limiting, don’t you think?  So I moved on.  I really WAS going to come back…  but, egad, this is a long list.

So here’s the third word – better late than never:

Easily-Distracted

do not give me any crap about that being two words.  I don’t care.  I hyphenated.

—- End Edit —-

15. Do any songs make you cry? Songs / books / movies /cards that are designed to make you cry just piss me off.  Like that “live like you were dying” song… GAH!  Written SPECIFICALLY to make people cry – I REFUSE to be manipulated like that!

16. Are you continuing your education? I have two associates, a bachelors and an MBA.  NEVER going back!!!

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? In theory… I’ve seen it on TV.  I think I could figure it out in a post-apocalyptic emergency.  Other than the zombie apocalypse, though, I don’t see myself ever touching one of the things.  I don’t like ‘em.  I WOULD like to learn to shoot a bow.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Dog. backup computer hard-drive. Teddy ted ted.

19. How often do you read books? I have a rule that says I cannot read a book unless I am on either my exercise bike or elliptical machine.  This keeps me interested in what is otherwise fairly monotonous exercise.  But with a good book?  Sometimes I wake up in the morning just itching to get on that bike so I can see what happens next.  I usually go through about 1 or 2 a week.  (brain candy ONLY!  None of that “non fiction” crap!)

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I am all about the here and now.  “future” thinking consists of planning out deby practices over the next week or to.  The past is yucky and horrible and I do not want to dwell on it.  The past is where all the bad things live (or, you know, as bad as things ever got for a white, middle class girl with tons of privilege).  I am a firm believer in the church of Timon and Puumba.  Hakuna Matata is my motto – you gotta put your behind in the past!

21. What is your favorite children’s book? as for an ACTUAL children’s book – written for children… The BFG by Roald Dahl  (or possibly George’s Marvelous Medicine by the same).  Although, as a child (and this might explain some of my weirdness) my favorite favorite bed time story was actually Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” – I would listen to that one as many times as my dad would tell it.

22. What color are your eyes? Hazel.

23. How tall are you? 5 ft 7 in

24. Where is your dream house located? Today…  Seattle.  Depends on my mood.

25. Do you have a secret fetish? um…. cake?  No, guess not.

26. Have you tried sushi? I love sushi.  Except for eel.  Eel is the product of satan.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? uh, yes.

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? last year some time? I don’t think it’s been two.  Olive Garden is one of those places that I like to go about once every two years when something on one of their commercials looks particularly photogenic.  Then I go there and remember why I never go there. Still – being as how I love all things cheese, I can forgive quite a bit of “pretend” Italian cuisine.

29. When was the last time you were at Church? Let’s just say it’s been a while.  Only a wedding or a funeral’s getting me back in one of those places.  Oh, well, except for historical churches… I do love to be inside a grand old cathedral.  Old churches do have the awesomest architecture!

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? So far?  work – but then derby practice later – a little farther than work.

31. What was your favorite job? You know?  I really enjoyed working as a barrista at Starbucks.  If only they paid as much as my current job – I could totally do that again.

32. Do you like mustard? Sometimes, and sometimes I think it is the work of the devil.  It depends on what it’s on and how much.  But I love it mixed with mayo on French Fries.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? THAT is a tough call.  I guess depending on how hungry or tired I am…  Eating and Sleeping are probably at the TIP TOP of my “favorite activities” list. (followed by Derby, of course).

34. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look like my Dad’s Mom.  Which is why people always think I’m mad.  “Are you OK?  Is something wrong?”  – “no – my face just looks like this”

35. How long does it take you in the shower? Am I in a hurry?  5 minutes.  Is it cold outside and hot in the shower?  Yeah – how much hot water’s in the tank.

36. Can you do the splits? Never ever.

37. What movie do you want to see right now? uh… I guess whatever Netflix sends next.

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you? It goes fast enough already, thanks.

39. What did you do for New Year’s? Ah new years.  I am asleep at midnight.  Then, the neighbors start setting off fireworks, freak out the dog, and wake me up.  Then, I stew about the #%$$%#$#ing neighbors for a while, then I go back to sleep.  EVERY YEAR!

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary? No.  No I did not.

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls? Let’s try “Heathers” instead.  Yes, I am that old.

42. Do you own a camera phone? Yes. But it costs 25 cents to transfer the pictures (thanks, virgin wireless!) so I just use a camera if I want a picture.

43. Do you have an “ex box” with pics and letters from past lovers? No – Hakuna Matata, baby!

44. Was your mom a cheerleader? As my mom never got to go to high school due to the staying home and helping raise her siblings, no, no she was not.

45. What’s the last letter of your middle name? E – why do you care and what possible use coud that be?  I mean, if you are going to write a meme with a target number of questions, at least make them useful!

46. Do you like your middle name? Its fine.  I guess there’s a reason it gets put in the middle.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? as many as possible.

48. Do you like care bears? um, like, to eat?

49. What do you buy at the movies? If I MUST go to a movie in the theater… I will grudgingly purchase a ticket.  NO, KID, you MAY NOT have popcorn!!!

50. Do you know how to play poker? I could probably fake my way through a game for pennies.  I get confused when it gets beyond “two pair” or “three of a kind”

51. Do you wear your seat belt? Always.

52. What do you wear to sleep? Tank top and undies.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? The city council likes to think so, but, not really.

54. How many meals do you eat a day? 3 meals.  1 snack. (2 snacks if it’s a practice night)

55. Is your tongue pierced? No… piercing isn’t my thing… I find just having pierced ears a trial to maintain.

56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace? I have taken down the page, MySpace sucks so bad.

57. Do you read myspace bulletins? No – they are usually spam or viruses, again, with the suckitude of MySpace.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better? I like seriously funny people.

59. Ever been to L.A.? Couple of times for business.  It’s just another office when you travle for work.

60. Did you eat a cookie today? No, but the day is young yet – someone might bring me cookies!

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages? No, I find that English supplies all my cussing requirements quite handily…  Fucker.

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Well, I do not download music, because I have no MP3 player.  But… if I had one, I would pay for them.  I will admit, when Napster first came out, I DID download from it.  But only because it didn’t really dawn on me that it was violating copyrights.  (we always used to share copies of tapes when I was a kid, right?) But once I realized that’s it’s wrong (and actually stealing!) I did not do it anymore.

63. Do you hate chocolate? What kind of weirdo freak can HATE chocolate?!!

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most? Fighting with my parents is pointless.  If they start going on about something I disagree with, I just try to leave the room as unobtrusively as possible.  They are old, they are not going to change at this point.

65. Are you a gullible person? No, I trust nobody and nothing.

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? Um…  I’ve been married for a long time.  I think having a boyfriend now would make me supremely unhappy!

67. If you could have any job what would it be? Independently wealthy world traveling environmentalist.

68. Are you easy to get along with? Yes.  Even if I think you are an ass hat, I am going to be polite to you… because that’s how I was raised.

69. What is your favorite time of day? 5 pm, baby!

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