No Celery Please

So while I was researching this whole Tummy Tuck thing, I found very few blogs that gave much information on this whole process.

So, in the interest of perhaps helping out future people scouring the Internet, I am going to blog this entire process.

But, also in the interest of allowing those who are not interested in quite that much information about me, and my belly, I am going to name all the future surgery related posts with the above title, and a new date.

This way, if you wish to follow this thread, you can, and if you don’t, you can skip it.

I am also going to use the “break” feature on these posts… why?

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Wow.  Wow.

Just got off the phone with the plastic surgeon’s office.

I made my appointment to have the extended tummy tuck on December 8.

Excited!

Nervous!

Wow!

As anyone who’s been reading here knows, I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

And it was getting down to do it or decide to live with it.

I was looking in the mirror this morning, and thinking… “OK, so either I spend the next 20 years of my life looking in the mirror every morning and thinking ‘yuck’ – or I really do this thing.”

And, if I’m gonna do it, I might as well go ahead and do it now.  Heck, I get older every day…  might as well get as much use out of a new belly as I can.

And, so, what’s money for, if not spending?!

OMG!

P.S. – The SB is still nervous and not 100% loving the idea, but supportive hubby that he is, he’s going to be there holding my hand through it.  Because he’s the Sweet Boy.

So, Consultation accomplished.

Having been reading everything I could get my hot little hands on about this subject for a few months, I am not shocked to say that I only learned ONE new fact about plastic surgery at the seminar / consultation yesterday.

(That is – plastic surgery to fix “deforming skin” – which this falls under – is tax deductible! – who knew?  It’s also, it seems, an audit trigger, so that’s less useful)

But – I went to the thing.  The Dr. talked about surgery for massive weight loss folks.  He talked about outcomes, risks, etc.  He showed pictures of people who I must say, I would NEVER have thought they could get from where they were, with that amount of skin, fat, etc, to quite reasonable looking.

He also showed some scary pictures of wounds, etc that didn’t close right, and talked about how that kind of thing is dealt with.  He talked about the riss / benefits of out-patient vs. hospitalization.  He talked about how long he’s been working with massive weight loss people. He talked about the different things MWL people tend to get, and the patterns of problems they tend to have, etc.  etc.  etc.

I probably would have found it more enlightening had I not already read a bunch of stories, etc. from people who’ve had surgery for this kind of thing.

Then after that, came the consultation part.

I’ve been to doctors before, of course, and know they are always clinical (because, hey, they are doctors) but I will admit, it was a little disconcerting to have someone sizing you up in the same way a contractor would size up a kitchen prior to a remodel.  Tape measures and all.

Still, he was very nice, and explained everything.

He ended up recommending exactly what I thought he would recommend, given what I have read about this stuff and what my concerns are. (Extended abdominoplasty, which is bascially a tummy tuck that goes a little way around the sides as well, but is not nearly as complicated and invasive as one of those “around the world” circumferential things)

The cost of such a thing is $8,800… pretty much in line with other quotes I have heard about in the area.  That’s not a small chunk outta savings… but cheaper than a kitchen remodel!

So – there’s that – information gathered.

From here, though, it’s not all sunshine and roses and “let’s get some surgery!”

For one thing.  That’s a lot of money.  On the one hand, this is something that I’ll have for the next 50-some years until I die.  On the other hand, that’s a lot of money.  On the one hand, I would not hesitate to invest  double that in a car that would only last me 8 to 10 years.  On the other hand, that’s a lot of money.  (you see where I’m gong with this).

Other things to consider…

1) General anesthesia.  There’s risk there.  I’ve had it before for two surgeries as a teen, so I know I’m not allergic, but still.  I know there are risks.  This is something I think I shall research, because all I really have is anecdotal information on this, not actual statistics.

2) What if it doesn’t come out right? Yeah – this guy’s been doing these things for 10 years.  But still…  what if it doesn’t?  It’s a small chance, but there none-the-less.

3) The SB is wildly uncomfortable with the whole thing.  He hates doctors and hospitals anyway…  I am fairly sure that if a piano fell on him, he’d probably try to convince himself that his arm was perfectly fine bent like that in the middle rather than have to see a physician.  He could be bleeding out of his eyeballs, and I’d probably have to wait until he passed out to get him to the emergency room (yes, OK, I am exaggerating, but not by much!)

So it is his position that if I go through with this I will die, or at least be horribly disfigured for life.  These are very legitimate concerns (see items 1 and 2 above), but my level of concern on them is not quite as high as his is.  Still, they are his concerns and I am taking them seriously.

So the long and the sort of it is that all surgery-related plans are now on hold pending SB comfort levels. I will not move forward on this as long as he is so very uncomfortable with it.  And, if that means never, well, then, that means never.  But, in the mean time, I shall attempt to gather more facts, figures, and information in an attempt to lower the SB security alert level from red to at least yellow.  I myself don’t think I could get my concern level down to green, but proceed with caution isn’t a bad place to be.

So I am going in today to talk to the surgeon about the tummy tuck.

I do not do well with doctors.  They make me nervous, and I tend to clam up and just revert to “yes” and “no” and wait until I can get the heck out of there.

Now… mostly that’s because I always feel hugely judged when I am at the doctor.  I only go for annual checkups, and so I am usually just sitting there waiting for the doctor to tell me why I am WRONG WRONG WRONG and should be punished and humiliated for not taking care of myself properly.

This hasn’t actually happened in a long, long time…  but the expectation is still there.

But… in this case, I am not going to the doctor for health related purposes.  This guy is running a service business.  It’s in his best interest to be nice and make me like him (and, if not, then I certainly will go elsewhere)…  So I think this will likely be a very different experience than going to a regular doctor.

But I still need to make sure I talk.  I need to communicate what I am looking for, what my needs and desires are (also not something I am good at).  I must force myself to ask, ask, ask questions and provide full, complete, and honest answers to questions asked of me.

This isn’t going to be easy… but I think I can do it.

So with all this talk about plastic surgery, I have been spending a lot of time in contemplation of the belly.  My belly, most specifically, but, the contemplation has led me on a search of all things belly.

You see…  while I DO want to get rid of the extra skin I have hanging around here… I most certainly do NOT want to end up with a flat, boyish sort of a belly.

I like round bellies!  I think I can trace the first articulation of this back to the movie “Pulp Fiction” where the cute french girl was talking about wanting to have a pot belly.  I just think round bellies are cute.

So – now that I am contemplating having my own personal belly surgically altered…  well, I think I need to start a belly collection, so I can be very clear with any potential surgeons that my personal desire for results is not some hollywood crazy-flat tied together hour-glassy thing.

Below are some bellies that I like very much…  taken from the AWESOME BELLY PROJECT…  (which you should TOTALLY check out!!!)

YES FOR ME BELLY

See?  Round…

NOT FOR ME BELLY (but still perfectly nice for them)

Of course, with the skin damage, still won’t look as cute as those first ones above, but at least it’s something to aim for.

OK, so I called up our local “oldest and most respected plastic surgery center in the city”.

I figure, might as well start with the best if I am going to get a consultation on what’s right for my situation.

Then if they turn out to be prohibitively costly, I might go to the second or third best to get a second opinion.

I feel pretty strongly that I will not be moving out of the top three.  There are some things that you should do right, or not at all.

This is, after all, a completely elective procedure.  If I decide I can’t spend the money, I’ll just live with what I’ve got, not look around for bargain basement surgery.

I mean… I hired the best company in town to do work on my house… I’ll stick with that model for getting work done on my body.

So on October 20, I will be attending a seminar that their massive weight loss specialist Dr. does.  It’s a dog and pony show up front of the types of surgery they do for weight loss patients.  Then after, the attendees get individual consultations (which I guess means a bit of waiting around while others get their turn, but hey, it’s a free consult), then he tells you what he thinks would be the best options for your particular situation.

I, being the OCD researcher I am, already have a pretty good idea of what the best option is for my case, but he, being an actual expert and all, will likely have different things to say.

So, now just for more waiting.

So now I am considering having reconstructive cosmetic ok, ok, fine, Ill say it… plastic surgery to remove a whole bunch of extra skin that is left over now that I am no longer as large as I once was.

I’ve been noodling the idea around for a while…  but I am now to the point where in the next few weeks I feel like I might actually pick up the phone and call a surgeon’s office to talk about consultations.

I thought that blogging about it might help me as I work through all the major issues surrounding this decision.

So just as an outline…  here are the things I am worried about with this whole surgery thing…

1. Recovery time.
2. General anesthesia.
3. Cost.
4. Plastic Surgery vs. Body Acceptance.
5. How much needs to come off?
6. No, I don’t want breast implants.

And why would I want to do such a thing?

I have lost more than half of me.  Now that I understand things like eating healthy foods, getting exercise, etc. I realize that this is about the size my body would like to be.  I am not losing any more weight, nor am I gaining…  So while I might still be called “Fat” by a fashion magazine at a size 10 (sometimes 8, sometimes 12), I am good with things the way they are.

But taking out half the stuffings has left me with simply more skin than I require.  On my arms and legs, this just means I have a little sagging and wrinkling.  Nothing I wouldn’t have gotten with age, anyway.  So I have no problem with that.

My torso, though…  I can grab two handfuls of skin and pull it away, with still more left that I can’t fit in my hands. (yeah, sorry about that mental image).  It’s too much.  It hangs over my pants, I think about it and obsess constantly about how it hangs there any time I wear clothing that is even remotely close to my body.  (And let’s not even get into how my brain reacts to a hug).

I guess it just feels unfair that I went to so much effort to get to where I fell like I should be and can maintain in a healthy manner, and then I am stuck with the leftovers.

There’s also that I want to get a tattoo on my belly and right now, frankly, there’s just no way it could be done. (unless it was one of those Mad Magazine fold-out pictures that changes when you open it up).

I could go on.  I probably will at some point.  But enough for today.