So as I was running on Saturday, I worked out this whole awesome blog post where I compared my life to a series of evolving software releases. The post was super awesome and I had some great metaphors.
But… then trying to go back and recreate all the stuff I had “written” in my head as I was running through the woods… well… I just got kinda bored.
So you are just going to have to take my word for it how I did such a good job comparing my life evolving to a software project going through upgrades, revisions, hardware platforms, plug ins, etc. It was also pretty funny.
Anyway, though, the POINT of the post that, sadly, no one but me will ever know, was that it’s time for ANOTHER reboot…
Basically, if you look at my life as a series of revisions… I have…
Release 1.0 – I turn 18 and am a “finished adult product”
Release 1.5 – Marriage was a major revision, but didn’t really make a significant change to the underlying “me”… I was the same person, but now with the SB along with me.
Release 2.0 was me after my “lifestyle change”… Yes – I was thin, and I was sort of fit (not like I am now)… but a lot of my underlying issues with lack of confidence, low self esteem, etc were still there. I was really that same fat girl – I just looked different.
Version 3.0 came with Derby… and it didn’t all happen at once… but of the course of years of participating in that awesome sport, I gained self confidence, a belief in my own abilities, a lessening of my willingness to take crap, and a general all around feeling (most of the time) that I am pretty darn awesome.
So – anyway… now I am officially retired from derby, and I am fully aware that it’s the correct thing for me to do for a whole host of reasons…
But it does leave something of a gap.
Who am I going to be without the Derby?
What are my interests going to be? What are my hobbies going to be?
Because as much as I loved Derby – it does eat your whole life.. and now suddenly I find myself (well, once this latest work craziness eases up) with time to do other things, explore other avenues… do… stuff.
So it’s time for Rachelle version 4.0 and I’m not really sure what that’s going to look like.
I know I want to still stay fit. I love the feeling that I can do things with my body just because I want to.
But… what does that mean? I love trail running… I am toying with the idea of training for a half marathon trail run.
But fitness can’t be all I do.
So.. what do I want to explore? Art? Music? Travel? What?
I am not sure where to go.
So I am searching, I guess… for what? Myself? I mean – I feel like I know “who I am” – but my self image also had a lot to do with Derby, so there’s a gap in that image now… what do I put in that gap?
I guess I’ll find out…