So I have been kind of a freak for a few days, and I don’t think it’s going to get any better until Monday.
First, over the weekend, I had a diet melt-down… I just was sick of having to monitor what I ate and worry about my weight and feel like my life is so restricted because I had conceived of a crazed desire to squeeze my buttocks comfortably into a size 8 pair of jeans. Part of it was reaction to having been so salady while in NYC. Anyway, I went kind of overboard in the opposite direction and then on Monday when I did the shrinking piggies report, I was up four pounds. FOUR!!!
Anyway… In a way it was good, because over the weekend I realized that I had gotten a little crazed and obsessive about the dieting and that my goals had gotten out of whack with what my body is actually capable of supporting. So I have managed to rein in that crazy a little and have settled back down to my original goal of a nice, healthy 140. Add to that the fact that I guess some of that extra 4 pounds must have been water because today I am only up 2 pounds from where I was before NYC (and no one can actually lose 2 pounds in a day). So I am feeling a little better about that.
But that’s not the only thing making me crazy. On Sunday… I am going to be in my first real Derby Bout… and I am panicking just a smidge on that point.
In my sensible brain, I know that playing this team will not be too much worse or different than scrimmaging against our A-Team…. our A-Team girls are better than the team we are going to play on Sunday. In my crazy brain, I have built this team up into a manic derby hitting powerhouse team, and I am afraid. (when really, I think they only have two hard hitters.)
Still. Gah! One minute I feel like I’ll do OK, and the next I am freaking out because WHAT AM I DOING PLAYING IN A REAL BOUT SO SOON!!!???
Anyway… I suspect the crazy will continue unabated all week. Perhaps on Monday (a holiday!), I’ll be able to get back to “normal”