No Celery Please – NYC Edition!


Dear Celebrities Who Practice Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

Posted in Uncategorized by noceleryplease on June 5, 2009

You are rich. 

For the love of all that is good and holy…  if you have to hang yourself to get off, please, PLEASE hire someone to keep a freakin’ eye on you so I do not have to hear about how you died on the news.

I cannot listen to INXS anymore (which is a band I used to like a lot) without thinking – upon hearing the first note of any of their songs – “huh – that guy died whacking off”

Do us all a favor – that is not how we want to remember you.

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7 Responses to 'Dear Celebrities Who Practice Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation'

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  1. It is very perplexing! I think the same thing about Michael Hutchence.

  2. Ron said,

    But you must admit that it really makes you remember them a bit more. I think that’s how I will end it all. Maybe to make it really even more memorable I will dress up as one of the Power Puff girls when I do it. 🙂

  3. Mojo said,

    Okay, that’s a visual I coulda done without. It occurs to me to make some wiseass crack about coming and going, but instead I’ll say I just came over from Sparky’s ’cause she’d mentioned you in a conversation about Derby once (long story, okay) and I was wonderin’ if you were skating at the bout at Dorton yesterday. I lost my Derby cherry and went to see both the local teams take the gas. But heartbreak aside, it was (a) interesting, (b) enlightening and (c) easily the most unique first date idea I ever came up with.

    The first bout was brutal I tell ya. I wanted to call 9-1-1 by the end of the third or 4th jam. I think at that point the score was 23-2… and it didn’t get better. But the second one was tight. And really could have gone either way right up until the end.

    I still don’t understand it all, but I liked it enough to go back again. Got some awesome photos too… despite the lighting in Dorton Arena (which is pretty much a$$). Just wondered if you might’ve been in any of ’em. But just based on the shot you have posted from a couple of weeks ago, I’m guessing you weren’t. There weren’t but a couple of players on any of the teams that tall, and only one from the home team that I can recall. And if you were Devilled Legs I think I’d recognize ya. Not 100% sure, but pretty sure.

  4. db grin said,

    This is a PSA that should be posted on every makeup mirror and set trailer. If you could add a bit about choking on barf that would probably save dozens of lives.

  5. renn said,

    I read that his family is questioning the results of the death, simply because of the dual stories, lag time, lack of information, etc.

    My heart breaks for his family, simply because they have to live with/defend the way he may have died. And, quite frankly, aside from Auto-E, the only ‘viable’ alternative may be straight up kink with a Dom gone bad. Either that or a minor that escaped. Terrible things happen in Thailand…

    It seems the ‘best of the worst’ possibilities may be the Auto-E. I’m not sure I’d want to know.

  6. tiff said,

    Of the many many things I don’t understand about people’s kinks, autoE is among the top 5. If I’d never heard of it, I’d never imagine something like that could get someone off.

    It is a detail in this man’s death that did not need to be divulged.

  7. Al said,

    Some things just don’t fit in my head. This would be one.


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