No Celery Please – NYC Edition!

Sometimes Violence is the Only Answer

Posted in Uncategorized by noceleryplease on September 2, 2009

So Chase has this new card – the “Sapphire” card, and they are running the WORLDS MOST ANNOYING ADVERTISEMENT to promote this thing.

Commercial starts with rich couple in living room.  Rich wife comes in with a new fancy dress on.  The husband is apparently inspired by said dress to want to take a vacation and suggests cashing in their credit card points for a trip.

From the clips, we are led to assume this would be a whirlwind European* romp or something.

The wife coyly shoots him down… he thinks this is because she doesn’t understand the concept of trading in points for travel, and so has an excuse to extol the virtues of the new Sapphire Card.  At the end of all this, the wife tips that the reason she shot him down is that she used all the points to get the fancy dress, the husband smiles like he’s the luckiest guy in the world, the commercial ends.

Now… here’s my beef with this commercial… (I will leave aside the feminist aspects of the husband assuming his wife is a mouth-breathing moron who can’t grasp the concept of “points”)

In what fucking universe is the appropriate response to finding out that your spouse just traded in enough points to take a FREE EUROPEAN VACATION on an article of clothing to SMILE CONDESCENDINGLY rather than PUNCHING SAID SPOUSE RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!!??????

Now, I am not a violent person by nature.  But SERIOUSLY!!!  Did you see the clips of the trip they could have taken?  There were dinners!  Dancing!  Boat Rides!  SPECTACULAR VACATION!!!!  Gone!  No Chance!  Because of a DRESS!  (and, frankly, kind of a funny-looking one at that) – HEAD PUNCHING TIME!!!

So… the SB now has to change the channel every time this awful thing comes on, because I start yelling at the fake rich husband in this couple that he’s an idiot and he needs to divorce this crazy, point-wasting bitch.

For the love of Maude… at least have the decency to DISCUSS blowing the whole wad on couture first before you DO IT!

You can see this abomination of humanity here (if you dare):

* OK, these places could be in the US…  but the feel of the clips seem European to me, like they are trying to imply that you could save up enough points for that.

7 Responses to 'Sometimes Violence is the Only Answer'

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  1. Ron said,

    Totally! From a guys perspective I say take the vacation and if the wife is naked the whole time it’s even better!

  2. Sarah said,

    Oh my goodness, my husband and I both have the EXACT SAME PROBLEM with that stupid commercial. ARGH!

  3. Buzzardbilly said,

    I hadn’t seen the commercial before. I guess I’m too busy diving for the remote to change the channel any time I hear Sara McLachlan’s (sp?) voice because it is a sure sign that a parade of injured and maimed pooches are going to be shoved in my face. I can’t even stand to hear her on the radio now because the pooches are there in my mind attached to her voice. Next thing you know, I’ll be having nightmares about her clubbing seals or summin.

    Points-squandering on a dress is a reason for divorce, or a cutting up of her copy of the credit card in the very least.

  4. tiff said,

    It’s a pretty dang ugly dress, and the ‘Enzyte Bob’ grin on hubby’s face I think is a gas spasm. Or he’s gritting his teeth to keep from head-punching her.

    So, yeah, one more reason to not watch teevee.

  5. Rachel said,

    Lol OMG. That was my reaction to that commercial too, except I wasn’t able to form thoughts beyond “What the FUCK?!” As my mind immeditately decended into gibbering incoherent spluttering fury.

    Not only at the bitch who wasted a vacation for a goddamned dress, but at the creators of that commercial for being so goddamn sexist as to think that this is something that “regular” women in their goddamned presumed target audience would be the sort to waste fucking vacation points on a fucking DRESS!

    *pant pant* Ok that came outta nowhere.

  6. Matt said,

    Wow, THANK YOU!!! I actually just googled “stupid chase sapphire commercial” just to see if other people also hated this commercial for the same reasons I did. She deserves a HUGE punch to the face by this dumb as nails guy, and I would go out and get a chase sapphire card on the spot if that was the ending to the commercial. Not only that, but I am forced to watch this dumbfounding display every 10 minutes it seems.

  7. Bob said,


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