No Celery Please – NYC Edition!

F You, “St. Valentine”, and Your Little Day Too!

Posted in Uncategorized by noceleryplease on February 14, 2010
Tags: , ,

Valentines Day.

Not a Fan.

OK, OK, I am an adult, and have, for the most part, moved on from the past and laid my childhood trauma to rest.

But there’s one thing I simply have never been able to get over, and that is the horror that is St. Valentines Day.

I think that maybe up to the 3rd grade or so, when everyone was REQUIRED to bring in stupid little cards and candy for EVERYONE else in the class, well, it wasn’t so bad as all that.  One more faux holiday and an excuse to eat (usually bad) candy.

But with age comes freedom from teacher mandated fairness, and from there on out, Valentines day was always just a way for the cool, pretty, popular kids to stick it to the new, the uncool, the less pretty, the fat, etc. etc. kids.

As a kid who was a) smart b) fat c) in a new school every two or three years… I’ll let you imagine how many Valentines day cards I every got.

Oh, that’s right, none.

High School.  It’s Valentines Day… several school clubs would “fundraise” by selling balloons, flowers, candy, etc. and delivering them in home room for kids to carry around the rest of the day.

The pretty cheerleaders could barely manage to carry around their load of swag the rest of the day… but you better believe they did…  wouldn’t want anyone to think they didn’t have those dozens of admirers.

Did I ever once have a balloon to carry around on Valentines day?  Yeh, no.

Valentines Day…  Specially made for humiliation and spite!  Yay Cupid!

When I was first dating the SB, our first Valentines day, I bought a lovely card and a present, etc. etc.  I thought it would be awesome to be dating someone on Valentines day.  But really?  I wasn’t buying that stuff as an expression of “love” or “romance”…  they were really just a way to stick it to Valentines day and everything it stands for.

I’m not a “romantic” – I’m not a sappy card person… those things are not the way I show love and affection.  For me, participating in Valentines day is not only a dredger of bad memories, it’s also completely inauthentic to the person I am.

So I choose to eschew all things Valentines.  I boycott all heart shaped boxes of chocolates.  I do not want any shiny jewels. I will not be going out for any fancy dinners. I will not be participating in the consumer festival that the commercials tell us are required of us lest our significant others feel that we have not spent sufficiently to prove our love.

I’m not passionate enough about most things to go to all the trouble of avoiding them to this degree … what can I say – Valentines Day is made for passion!


5 Responses to 'F You, “St. Valentine”, and Your Little Day Too!'

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  1. whatigotsofar said,

    Screw SVD!

  2. We’re not romantics here, either. The kids get a heart shaped candy box and that’s about it! 🙂

  3. nycivan said,

    this day is tied to one of my most vivid traumatic memories of stigma and fat hate. it was third grade and when the valentine day card exchange was over, I was sitting alone in my class without a single red heart watching everyone else in the class reading their valentines. I vividly remember one of the girls telling me that she and the rest of the girls gave cards to every boy in class except me.

    here is the inverted stigma part of the story that I will only share with my FA buddies… an observant 3rd grade teacher noticed this cruelty and partnered with the teacher in the next room who had all of his kids send me a valentine… it was the special ed class and somehow in the perverted third graded privileged head of my peers getting cards from the special ed kids was not the consolation it was meant to be but spawned further teasing from my oppressors.

    Even with all that, and the fact that I have never had a valentine, I remain hopeful that I will get to be captain romantic someday with a special girl on valentines day…. but today… treating myself to a delicious brunch will have to suffice.



  4. Rachel said,

    Hear! Hear!

    Never did care for this stupid fauxliday. Chocolates are nice though. I might go out and buy myself a box of chocolates.

    Today also just happens to be the day I up and moved out of my cheating ex-boyfriends apartment.

    Yeah, V-day doesn’t exactly mean “LOVE” anymore.

  5. dufmanno said,

    Holy crap. I never really thought much about the day itself except when I got married and my husband asked if I really cared about it. I began my indignant speech about how he better get it together and buy me something and then I stopped dead in my tracks because I realized I sounded exactly like my crazy ass mother.
    nycivan, that story makes me want to punch out a third grader even though I actually have a kid in third grade. One thing I do not tolerate as a parent is any kind of cruelty. It sucks, plain and simple.

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