No Celery Please – NYC Edition!


If someone tells you they need to dilate your cervix, think real hard before you say yes

Posted in Health,Just... Life,Uncategorized by noceleryplease on September 9, 2011

So… I believe I have blogged here before about some of my issues with the Depo Provera. I have hemmed and hawed and then hemmed again and re-hawed and then went back around again.

I talked to my regular doc about sterilization and she gave me the old “but what if you change your mind and want BABIEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!” speech.

That doc is not my favorite anyway, she’s never particularly curious about my state of being and doesn’t inquire much beyond… “how are you”?

So I took my search for birth control that doesn’t suck all the emotion out of my life a little father afield and went to see an honest-to-goodness OBGYN for the first time in my life.

I think this guy asked me more questions about myself in the hour I talked to him than my regular doc did in all the years I’ve been seeing her.

Options… He gave me options and talked about pros and cons and… Bonus… Never once suggested that my decision to not want babies was something I would REGRET FOREVER AND DIE MOURNING!!!!!

So in the end, with the various options and pros and cons, I decided to go with the Mirena IUD.

Seemed like a simple enough procedure… In office… A few minutes… Kinda like a pap smear, but “you might feel a pinch”.

Now, that might even be true in many circumstances.

I, it appears, have a “combative cervix”.

Yes… My cervix, it seems, does not think that “in” is an appropriate directions for things to go.

But was my doctor going to lose a fight with some stubborn stupid cervix? Oh no, he was not!

THRICE! He called out to his valiant nurse sidekick… “I need a larger dilater!”

Yeah, so that sucked.

But I am now the proud owner of a uterus full of IUD and am (barring any statistical anomalies) protected from teh bebbies for 5 whole years with only the tiniest locally applied hormone trickle and not the crazy flood that I have now.

But… Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

I had forgotten what cramps felt like, but hello! That, and the few hours after… I stand reminded!!

But, all in all, I think it’s a Very. Good. Thing.

I can’t live with the side effects of the Depo anymore… Change must be made.

Now, I just have to wait another 4 to 6 weeks to see if I am one of those lucky folks who go bat-shit crazy when hey come off the Depo… Yeah, that’s something I wasn’t told when I started takin it oh so many years ago.

So anyways… That was my Friday Night… Ibuprofen and heating pads all around! Whee!

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8 Responses to 'If someone tells you they need to dilate your cervix, think real hard before you say yes'

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  1. Deborah said,

    Goodness. Hope the cramping subsides soon(er).


  2. Finding a hooha doctor who will LISTEN to you is a real gift. I’ve been with mine for about 15 years and he is the BEST. I asked for a hysterectomy last year. I said, “Find something wrong where our insurance will pay for it.” I was scheduled a few weeks later and I’ve never been happier! 🙂

  3. rennratt said,

    Holy cats. OUCH! I hope that you feel worlds better today.

    If it makes you feel any better, I got the modified “BAYBEEE” speech while preggers with Nooze. I asked to be ‘fixed’ immediately after delivery. Doc’s response? QUOTE: NO. If something happens to this one, you might want to replace her.

    Like I was shooting out a dinner set or something.

    Needless to say, I quit that doc…and Chachi had a vasectomy instead.

  4. Ron said,

    I will certainly take and dilating recommendations under advisement…..

  5. Tiff said,

    I loved my IUD – after the first three months of cycles went along. I got 10 years out of it (no hormone copper T) – was the best 600 bucks I’d spent in a long long time. Mazeltov!

  6. Val said,

    I was suicidally depressed when I served as my gyno’s lil’ guinea pig for Norplant… (needless to say, hormonal BC didn’t work well for me)

    I was never happier than the day I got my tubal! but my BF has an IUD, she thinks it’s wonderful…

  7. Ginamonster said,

    Hey lady. Long time no see. It’s amazing how small this little Derby-bloggy-weightloss world is, my coworker just shouted over that I should look at this new blog she found and what do you know? it was you!!! Glad to have found you again. Will catch up on what I’ve missed soon.

  8. Ron said,

    Plus dilating your cervix has been known to stop all form of blogging… it’s a medical fact.


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