No Celery Please – NYC Edition!


Quitting

Posted in Health,Just... Life by noceleryplease on July 11, 2012

Not sure if I can do it.

Sigh.

So for the last 20 months or so I have been pretty obsessively tracking my calorie intake on my Calorie Count application.

It’s not “normal”…  I know that… you know that… my dog knows that…

But it’s how I have been dealing with my eating issues.  Count, count, count…  Track, track, track…

I have been toying off and on for the past couple of months with the idea of stopping this behavior and trying to eat like a “normal” person.

You know… if I am hungry, having some food.  And if I am not hungry, then not eating.

This isn’t going to be easy.  I have trouble stopping when I am full, which is why I use the counting method.

But is it realistic to count and track for the rest of my life?  I mean…  literally…  the next 40 years spent entering everything I eat into a little computer?  I suspect not.

So I gotta figure out how to do this thing.

I thought that maybe making the announcement that I am quitting the tracking might make me more accountable to actually do it.  I am already backtracking even as I type this.  Letting go of the control scares the bejeezus out of me.

So I am going to wing it for a week.  I am not giving up all measuring.  I will allow the use of measuring cups and scoops.  And anything really high calorie like cheese or nuts, I am going to still weigh on my scale.  Because I know damn well that I can easily “cheat” my way into multiple servings of cheese.  God how I love cheese.

I’ll most likely still keep track in my head, but I am going to stop and ask myself each time I want something to eat…  “Are you hungry?  Or just bored?”  Or do you just feel like you need to “finish”?

Example – tonight I ate dinner.  I was satisfied after about 2/3rds was gone.  But I ate it all – because it’s what I had as my portion… and I WANT to eat everything I am “due”.  That’s my overeating problem coming out.  The only way I stay where I am is by letting the restriction and control impulse battle the overeating impulse to a stalemate.

Gah!  Even now I am panicking that I will go completely crazy and just pile on the weight.

But I can’t let the crazy win!

So I am going to commit to a week.  One full week of no tracking.

And see where we go from there.

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2 Responses to 'Quitting'

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  1. Deborah said,

    I have your problem (sort of) in reverse. I can’t track for shit. I record every few days, or even once a week. Still, after a time, I grow tired of documenting: weight, waist measurement, hip measurement, bp reading…and we won’t EVEN discuss tracking food. Oh. Mah. Goodness…stab me with a fork. Okay…but I know what I need to do IF I want change, and I do… sooo….

    Bravura to you for know what your issues are and dealing with them in a way that works best AND being IN the moment enough to know when the train might go off the rails and adjusting accordingly.

    Thumbs UP.

  2. rennratt said,

    I got slightly manic about tracking my food for a while. Chachi threatened to kill my phone, because I would panic – PANIC – if something had too many calories. I’d refuse to eat, rather than just eating a smaller portion.

    I got into the habit of measuring everything, so that helped get me into a routine. I stopped tracking because I’m not losing weight anyway, so there’s no sense in throwing myself into a panic over something that isn’t working.

    Good luck this week. You can DO it!


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