Why does my knee hurt so bad going up stairs all of a sudden?????
I did NOTHING to cause this… NOTHING!!!
No fair! Wahhhhhhhh!
Ok… Going back to the gym after work today.
I will be LOW IMPACT WOMAN!!!
I will also wrap my knee to remind myself to be LOW IMPACT WOMAN!!!
I actually do not really want to go. But I paid for these two months and I figure I should do something.
Plus I need to go visit the YMCA to determine if I want I join there to do Yoga and Water Aerobics. And I can’t do it this weekend.
The SB is considering maybe possibly maybe joining with me… To possibly maybe swim while I do my classes. So we need to find time to visit together. This weekend is an F1 race weekend, so he’s booked up.
In opposite news… While my love is watching the race practice on Saturday, I will be thrifting to find a desk / table for the craft room I am setting up… Then my BFF and I are hitting up the Ichiban for an extravaganza of chimes buffet awesometude.
Haven’t done the Ichiban in FOREVER… The reason for that is that it’s an excessive place an when I go there, I indulge in a ridiculously excessive way.
Sushi buffet?!? Magical unicorn pie!?! Honey ginger chicken?!? Squid salad?!? Fried plantains?!? I DARE YOU to attempt to enter the Ichiban and not leave groaning.
OK, OK, some people can. The SB goes there and just eats until he’s had enough. I don’t grasp this ability myself… Hence my limitations on going there. Still… Looking forward to it!!!
See the wonder of Magical Unicorn Pie!!! (With the sprinkles)
So… two weeks after the ill-conceived attendance of the “Body Attack” class… my knee is back to roughly where it was when I went to the class.
A little twingy, but no constant pain.
If I want to get better… I need to work it out.
But now I am gun-shy of doing anything with it more than my elliptical machine…
Gotta get back on the horse eventually.
It does not help that the horse is BORING and I am NOT MOTIVATED to go lift weights at the gym.
Maybe I need to look into the YMCA / Swimming / Yoga plan sooner rather than later.
Because WTF else am I going to talk about besides my focacta knee?
Which is actually doing much better 8 days out from that “Body Combat” class… Still a little painy… I CLEARLY had too much impact on the joint that now has a lot less meniscus in it. Plus strain on the less stable knee muscles.
Either tomorrow or Thursday I will head back to the Gym. NOT for classes… just for nice, low impact cardio machines (they have like, THREE different “ellipty-type” things. Plus weights… nice, non-ridiculous weights on Machines, not free weights.
Baby steps… learning to pace myself!
To keep me motivated to go to the gym and work out? Um – no.
To work out next to me and slap me around when I choose to do the “High Impact” versions of the exercises? Um… could be.
So I went on a super fun vacation. It was fun and exhausting. I am not gonna rehash it all here, since typically these travelogue type things are only interesting to the people who already experienced the trip.
Suffice to say, I saw a lot of things and ate a bunch of stuff.
I highly recommend it as an activity.
One of the things I ate:
One of the things I saw:
Then I got back and had surgery on my knee. Friday was the day. That sucked. I HATE anesthesia. Saturday was kinda bad because I still had to leave the bandages on. Sunday I got to take them off and take a shower – so that was better. Today I did a gentle 30 mins on my elliptical. I anticipate being pretty much back to normal by Friday.
So that was a whole lotta stuff that happened. But not anything that needs a a big ol’ write up.
Kinda been stewing in my own juices lately.
Not in a “mad” way like that implies.
Maybe I should say… kinda been soaking in a tub of my own dirty water lately.
Is that better?
Anyway. Tired of it.
Adult responsibilities – bah… weight obsession – bah… asceticism – bah… depression – bah… politics – bah… activists – bah… feeling guilty for freakin’ un-joining a freakin’ gym – bah… caring what persons a,b, and c might think of me – bah…
New outlook needed:
Fun – yay… Fun – yay… Fun – yay…
We’ll see how flipping this switch goes. But it might be a while before I come back here. The blog has been drawing out the maudlin.
Well – in Knee news, it looks like I will be having a bit of surgery.
I have a “Bucket Handle” tear of my left knee medial meniscus.
The torn piece (like in the picture below) is kinda flopping around and getting pinched between my femur and tibia.
This = pain.
My option is to either have the torn piece trimmed off or live with the pain.
I decided that I will go the “fix pain” option.
A diagram of how they will be trimming the piece is below (OK – it’s for a right knee, but whatever).
The doctor will go in and trim out the torn bit.
Voila, no more pain.
Since I am going to London next week, I am putting the surgery off until I get back. My Doc was almost confident that I could have the surgery this week and walk around London next week, but he did think six days was cutting it close. So I decided I would rather go to London with the pain I know than with potential unknown pain.
Should be able to get back to regular walking, etc in just a few days after the surgery. Doc says there’s no reason after the surgery that I should not go back to Jiu Jitsu… once the meniscus is trimmed, there’s nothing further that can be damaged related to it. UNLESS … I tear a new tear.
So while the Doc actually said I could easily go back to Jiu Jitsu in about three weeks, I have decided that I am going to spend some time in the weight room, making my left leg muscles stronger so I reduce the risk of a new injury.
Also – I am not 100% sure I am wanting to go back to the FFMMA gym… I like them… I LOVE the ladies I train with… but the gym appears to be moving in a bit of a direction I am not 100% wild about. I’m going to reserve judgement until I am back to feeling like I can go back, anyway. Then decide on the location that I go back to. I do miss the training already, though.
So anyway… that’s all the knee news.
I need to read and REMEMBER the things I post here.
I have a little editor in my head that tells me things like… “You weren’t in that much pain”… “But it was so FUN!”… “Maybe if you changed X or Y”… “Who says we are too old for that?”
That little editor does not recall how I felt JUST LAST THURSDAY.
That little editor minimizes the bad and emphasizes the good.
And there was A LOT of good. That feeling that I would have after a really great class where everything just clicked and I totally jiu jitsu’d all over the place was really great. I get a rush of satisfaction and accomplishment from doing physical things that are difficult and doing them well.
So it draws me, and it sings to me… “Don’t you want to feel that way again?!”
I don’t get that kind of satisfaction from just “working out”… There’s no test there. There’s no real accomplishment… it’s just… “well, I burned another 300 calories. good”.
And maybe once I get this knee all sorted, I can consider going back to it… But I need to remember the OW. Because it’s part of it. You do not get just the good, no matter what that stupid head voice has to say.
Well… It has now been a full week since I went to a / boxing / Jiu Jitsu class.
The pain in my knee is noticeably less. There has been no “catching” or other acute issues. Some end of day general pain is all.
This gives me some hope that perhaps the tear is in a “healable” area and perhaps it could get better with rehab (that means it’s torn near the outside where there is blood flow – fingers crossed!).
I am not ruling out the idea of surgery. If I need it to be 100%, then I would like to. I do not want to have to favor the left knee my whole life if I could just get it fixed and be better. BUT! I don’t want to sign up for surgery if it’s not necessary…. So there’s that.
But nothing will be known until I go get an MRI on Friday then see the Doc for the results on Tuesday.
Until then, no Jiu Jitsu.
And probably no Jiu Jitsu ever again. But I am not TOTALLY ruling it out. If I could rehab and then go back, maybe I would. Sigh. I have this need to see myself as a “badass”… I am not sure exactly why or where it comes from. Maybe instead of working on learning a crazy sport, I should work on accepting that I am just a normal human, not a super hero.
Anyway – that’s not really that dire.
In good karma news. Just as I was realizing that the MMA gym is not going to be any place I am going back to… and I was trying to find another, less “Crazy” gym to work out at (because I AM still going to need a place to work out, even if it’s a “normal” thing like a spin class… The universe dropped a “2 month membership to Gold’s Gym for $29” into my lap. Which is RIDICULOUSLY cheap. I wanted to try Gold’s, but it’s kinda pricy. At this price, I can get 2 months to really dig in, see about the place, and decide. So… as it will, sometimes the universe provides… one door closes, another opens and all that sort of thing.
In actual fact, a place like Gold’s to “just work out” was what I was looking for when I joined the MMA place… but then they dangled “Badassery” in my face and I jumped in with both feet, er, knees, whatever 😉 So this may be a way to transition back to where I was going before I took that detour.
PS – this is post # 700 on this blog. How time flies!